Owen's life started out spotless with no illness until about May, and then we have literally battled ear infection, after ear infection, after ear infection. I could read his signs perfectly every time. Never a fever, just a really bad runny nose with the occasional cough. As a new parent, I find that the one sure thing you can always count on is a temperature to help guide you to the next stage. Otherwise, you're on your own and doctors are pretty numb to any other symptoms. So finally after about the eighth one, our pediatrician referred us on to a specialist for tubes. His name was Dr. Goudy at Vanderbilt and supposedly there was a five month waiting list to get in with this Ear Specialist Superstar, or so I heard. Well, one month later, there we were, sitting in his office, making the dreaded decision to do the deed. Not knowing if this was something he would grow out of, or potentially delay his speech, we felt it was time to face the music and get on with it. Apparently, having an ear infection is like being underwater all the time. When Owen talks, I can tell by the look on his face that he thinks he couldn't be clearer. On the other hand, trying to translate the speech of a one year old is like trying to put a square peg in a round hole. As similar as you feel you are with your own child and believe that you know them inside and out, there are still elements of surprise for your entertainment. In my short experience of parenting, I've found that I have some things that blow his socks off like the fact that I am part Mommy, part mind reader with magic bubble blowing skills. And, the innate ability to know that that he wanted goldfish instead of cheerios as a snack. Oh man, when you're hot your hot, or at least you ride it as long as you can. As simple as it can be at times, I have found that there is a gap as wide as the Amazon River that will take me years fill to be able to understand it all. For instance, Owen has it pictured perfectly what he is saying when he points and jabbers something that sounds like "lipid fats" off in the distance. So, with complete confidence that as his mother I know EXACTLY what he is saying he wants, I begin the search and rescue. I make eye contact and pick up the toy remote control, then after a few seconds of silence and realizing that wasn't it, I proceed to pick up the fire truck, then the ball and bat, to finally find myself double fisting everything until out the corner of my eye, there it sits in all its glory....the SIPPY CUP. Of course, how could I have mistaken that! Your confidence dwindles a bit, but you live and you learn. The greatest part of all this is that little Owen gives me the most honest look of "What's the problem? I couldn't have been more clear." And, in his little way, he sweetly forgives and forgets and makes me feel like I was obviously the one with the misunderstanding. Needless to say, two weeks after the consultation, we were facing the music loud and clear, and for the first time, subjecting our little family to our first big family ordeal. I know it's just tubes in your ears and a very common routine procedure, but I would be lying if I said that I wasn't scared and nervous. Mr. Superstar Ear Specialist was in control, and I wasn't. Although he seemed very knowledgeable on every level with tons of reassurance that I had nothing to worry about, somehow, I found that it didn't matter. I worried. It didn't matter that it was a small procedure and that Owen would be ripping up the house in no time. I worried and then I prayed, and then I picked myself up and did the unthinkable. I went against my emotions and did what every parent dreads, the right thing. I've never been responsible for anyone in my life like I have been since I've become a mother. And, it is a tall order to fill if I say so myself. You do what you have to do, even when it's not something you want to do. You think when you're a kid that you've got it so tough not getting your way, only to find out that your parents did the hard stuff to protect you, even though you thought it was so easy for them. You hear it over and over that you will understand one day, and this was our day. We tried to hide the fear and keep our emotions as normal as possible for Owen's sake. At first glance, the waiting room was like a huge pajama party full of little people with tons of fun things to do and toys galore. Owen was in Heaven. We checked in, did the paperwork, and BAM, our name was on the list! I tried not to hold my breath, and in the moments I was breathing, I found that I was trying to talk myself into eating everything I could find, but I didn't. I just waited. After a little over an hour, they called us back, and the real fun began. Owen was as cool as cucumber until they made him change clothes, checked his temperature, and listened to his heart. And, there it was. That dreaded scared look. The one that makes you feel ashamed of yourself and you don't know why. You know in your heart that you are doing the right thing, but you know that he just doesn't understand. And you do the self talk thing, stick to the plan, and do what you have to do. Luckily, Owen made fast friends with a few of the other kids, which seemed to keep all of our minds off things and even shed a bit of laughter. Not too long afterwards, a nurse came and got him, and took him swiftly for his surgery. Shockingly, I didn't cry like I thought I would, I just watched the clock and started counting down. And, just like everyone warned me before, it was over before I knew it, and the doctor showed up in the waiting room with a smile and said, "See, nothing to worry about." I guess what I'm trying to say is that you don't know what it's like to love someone until you have a child. And, in loving them, you are forced to do things you don't think you have the strength to do. I feel like we all grew in trust that day. I learned to trust a person I barely knew to take care of my child like he was his own. Wade and I learned to trust each other and know that we are in this thing together. Owen learned to trust that we love him and will not forsake him in his greatest trials. And when we say that it is for his best interest and because we love him, he will know it's true. (Or at least, one day he will.) And lastly, I learned to trust myself, which is always the hardest thing to do. I learned that I love my family, and I can overcome my fears to protect them. Because in loving them, it will always lead me down the right path, even when it is the hardest. Since the surgery, Owen is off to the races! And YES- he is ripping this house up just like they said he would. He is going full speed ahead and not looking back. And, we are all moving forward with a renewed appreciation for each other. Thank you to everyone for the words of encouragement and for the prayers, as well as, a very deep and heartfelt "thank you" to Wade's Mom and Dad for taking the time to come and be with us. It meant more than you will ever know.
With love,
Codye
Wade waking Owen up to leave. We had to be at the hospital @ 6:30am.
Heaven, I tell ya. He thought he was there.
Memaw & Pepaw (Or, Paw Paw, if you ask Owen)
Let the fun begin...
There were good times too!!
And, I forgot to mention that he hadn't eaten in almost 10 hours and he was a BEAR!
The following are among my favorite...Owen made friends with a boy named Zach, and let's just say the pictures explain it all!!
Yep, crawled right in and sat in his lap!! Absolutely amazing! I about died!
Riding Single
The End Product...One very happy kid and one relieved Momma!
Thank you Memaw and Pepaw for the Balloons! You hit one out of the park! You think of everything!
THANK YOU!!
